So………here’s the lowdown.
First Dates season 4 has literally just wrapped shooting at the famous stalwart of love coda eatery. Cupid’s checked out of the honeymoon suite and his arrows seem to have been very hit and miss this year, too much love potion cocktail man, come on!
A few of you have taken to hit up the gibson agony aunt column via DM with your not so lucky in love stories. Well then it may just be time to book the church and the ceremony! Because as self appointed love doctors here at gibson HQ we’ve put pen to paper to solve some of your dating woes. We’ve gone daft punk style, digital love, on this mother. So get those tinder, bumble, and whatever the kids are using these days here’s your top 6 steps to up your dating profile.
Be Yourself (ish)
is bebo still a thing………………..?
1. Be Yourself – ish
Ok! Laptops open – it’s time for the bio. Time to cast that net out. If you don’t buy a ticket you’ll never win the raffle amiriiiight? You’ve exhausted all the usual avenues and it’s time to meet some new people. Shudder, you may think are you really doing this but after a quick reassurance from google that in the past 5 years over 47% of couples meet via online dating apps like..blah…blah….blah… ok, ok you’re reassured. Look you meet new people everyday. You’re a cool guy/gal. You’ve just finished the sopranos and you’re a Gemini who likes to take life as it comes – walk in the park. Just be yourself – ISH.
Here’s a ballpark template. Use this and you’ll at least get a few ‘Hey “Wasup’s” into your plenty of fish inbox. Maybe even an old school ‘ASL?’ – but hey let’s manage our expectations here.
Likes: Long walks on the beach, meeting new people, (hopefully not at the same time), watching the planes come in at night, (provided you’re not a member of a conspiracy group), helping out at the local community center, (provided it’s actually your local community), likes sports, always wanted to go to NYC for New Years Eve – keep it simple. If you write it they will come..
Dislikes: Let’s be honest, before we start this is a potential mine field, best play it safe here. Here a good versus bad bio:
Dislikes: People, spending too much money, girls called Sarah, (my heart will never fully heal), tandem bicycles, holding hands, commitment, kids…….. stop.. stop.. stop!
Dislikes: When people clap at the end of a flight, Turkish delight bars, rain in summer, sharing food (gotta be a little bit honest), southern comfort (that dress will never be the same again), going to concerts, travelling… you get the general gist.
It’s all good man – just be honest just not too honest
2. The profile picture (s)
Personality is everything but a good profile picture and supporting photos are an essential part of any online dating starter pack. Stick to the 4 simple rules here and you’ll succeed.
- Loose the pet
it’s harsh but chances are if you’ve been on here long enough you both already own several. Save it for the first date small talk.
we said no pets!
- Which one are you?
Make sure you’re the focus of the picture. You’re selling yourself not Brad – he gets all the girls anyway. *crops to edit picture* … sayonara Brad. Also, go by a 1 selfie rule. Trust us, it’s better this way.
sorry just wondering? are you the one beside Julia Roberts?
- Oh your Granda is 90 that’s fantastic – seriously?
you’re trying to be fun here..Sorry G-Pops…. neeeext.
no Gradma’s either – just to be clear
- Recent pics
1 year rule applies here. Get some new pics. Trust is key.
wanna get a coffee sometime?
3. Don’t Super Like
This one’s for all you Tinder affectionados. In 2015 the globally renown dating app introduced a new button called Super Like. Absolutely, we totally agree confidence is everything but there’s a fine line. Everybody likes an ego boost from time to time but let’s face it, the words super like don’t exactly chime like wedding bells more like a rattling wind down an empty corridor.
One of Tinder’s original creator’s Sean Rad has been quoted to say;
“I’ve always said that a match on Tinder is a lot like meeting eyes across the room . Super Like is more like going up to someone and saying ‘hello’.”
We disagree. As Irish people. Don’t super like, just like, nod, maybe even a low key wave. If you match with each other it’s super enough as it is. Lets get brass tacks for a moment. Are we as Irish people even really comfortable of sure how to use the word. Our precedent suggests otherwise i.e. tasty and temping food at Supermacs? Need we say more…
wooooah – back off Lindsey. I don’t even really ‘Super Like’ myself…. neeeeext
4. Get Active
Online Dating is, in theory, a shy person’s dream. You can meet like minded , cool & attractive people without actually having to leave the comfort of your own couch and think of something funny and inoffensive to say. Bur if you don’t shoot you’ll never score. Get active with your messages.
So you’ve matched or you at least think there may be something you two have in common. Then go for it. In for a penny and all that…. No we are not advocating copying in pasting the same generic ‘hey boi/hey gurl’ message until your thumbs and fingers are missing the finger prints. But you never know you could be getting on better than Matteo in the First Dates restaurant after a few trial runs. Take rejection with a pinch of salt, think of all those weekends spent alone searching lawn furniture and BBQ equipment – you son’t even have a lawn! Get messaging.
like shootin’ fish in a barrel
5. Stay positive.
Even if you hate your job, your living situation, or your ex, don’t unpack your baggage in your online dating profile. People already know you hate Monday’s, that you spent all your money on Domino’s Pizza & the internet lags from 6pm – 9 in your gaff. Get over it!
A little injection of positivity goes a long way. People want to be around people who make themselves feel good. Step out of the dark side young Jedi & come into the light. Positivity breathes positivity!
table for two?
We hope that this quick fire list has catapulted you from Ben & Jerry’s on the couch to Romeo and Juliet in the flesh.
There ain’t no quick fix to the chapel and white dress party. However, there is a quick fix to setting up your dating stall online. Jump from zero to international love hero with our 5 simple First Dates inspired steps. Get updating those profiles folks and try not to get catfished.
new catfish who dis?
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